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The slightly less serious page on how to make your very own Chaff Grenades!

I bet you've been wishing to have your own chaff grenades for ages now. ...No? What's wrong with you?! Well if you have been wishing to make a collection of working chaff grenades, you can forget all those troublesome sleepless nights where you stressed over chaff grenades and how to make one of your very own... for Liquid Snake is here to explain how to make one of your very own!

*****CUT THE WAFFLE!!*****

You will need...

  • Cylindrical tub or pot of some kind (e.g. small crisp tubes, cat treat pots, gravy pots, or anything which will comfortably fit the size of the hand and is hollow with a lid. Tin cans are not advisable because of sharp edges)
  • Large sheet of tin foil
  • Scissors
  • Black/grey/brown paint, coloured paper or felt
  • High-powered electric fan
  • Thick cardboard (corrugated or similar recommended)
  • Washing-up liquid bottle

How to make your Chaff Grenade:

  1. Empty the pot or cylindrical container of whatever it contained and wash out if necessary (sorry to spell this out, but some people don't think of this and complain later). [fig. 1]
  2. Cut up the foil sheet into pieces no bigger than 5cm x 5cm.
  3. Shove the foil pieces into the container but don't scrunch them up! [fig. 2]
  4. Close the lid of the pot or make a lid if it doesn't have one, including a hinge. [fig. 3]
  5. Make a sturdy handle with some thick cardboard and attach to the lid (be creative). I started by using a pipe cleaner [fig. 4] to get the general shape then wrapped some card around it.
  6. Paint or cover the whole thing black/grey/brown paper (I ended up using felt, actually). [fig. 5] 
  7. At this point my chaff grenade needed a studier handle so I painted a kitchen foil tube black and attached it to the basic handle structure. [fig. 6]
  8. Finally add lines, markings and military jargon wherever you feel it necessary. [fig. 7]
  9. OPTIONAL: Dress up as Solid Snake or Raiden.
  10. Turn on the high-powered fan (do this indoors, not outside or you'll never see some of your chaff again!)
  11. Lob the chaff grenade so that you open it as you throw it.
  12. Watch the little bits of foil blast their way out of the grenade and float around the room (it should look like the token collection in the Crystal Dome from the Crystal Maze if you've done it correctly!)
  13. Move the fan for a more realistic effect.
  14. Do this in public areas wherever you find a surveillance camera.
  15. Enjoy.
  16. NOTE: The washing-up liquid bottle was to make it more like a Blue Peter item. It also has the word "Liquid" in it. (Actually many washing-up liquid bottles are the right shape for a chaff grenade - perhaps you should put your container inside the bottle? Experiment!)

So there you have it - be sure to enjoy your brand new, hand-made chaff grenade, and don't blame me if, when you throw it, the chaff just kinda floats down to the floor in an unimpressive way! Why not make several so that you can keep a few handy for boss battles (against the Ninja, duh)? You could also try adapting your most Snake-like trousers so that you can shove a couple of grenades into the pockets! Also, you could make several so you could give them as Christmas/birthday presents to your friends! Won't they love you?!

NOTE: If you hurt yourself making this product, it's not my fault. Also, get a grown-up to do the cuttng out. Scissors are dangerous weapons; chaff grenades never hurt anyone!

So, to quote a famous pioneer of creative talent on CITV, "Try it yourself - your very own chaff grenade!"

Figures 1-7

  Fig. 1: Make sure the pot is empty! Fig. 2: Insert chaff! Fig. 3: Attach a lid with a hinge

   Fig. 4: Start the handle Fig. 5: Paint/cover it in black Fig. 6: I strengthened the handle

 

Fig. 7: Your finished grenade!